Julie
The beautiful woman sitting next to me in the picture below is my friend Julie. On Friday I was lucky enough to get a visit from her. Julie lives in Canada and just happens to also be visiting her parents in Decatur this week. Considering that we have only seen each other twice in the past five years, it was pretty lucky that I got the chance to see her.
If you were to take your hand and place it under our necks in the photograph, you would see a picture like hundreds of others I have of the two of us over the years. Julie and Leslie a canoe trip. Julie and Leslie getting ready for Homecoming. Julie and Leslie at a band concert. Julie and Leslie at a slumber party. Julie and Leslie at Leslie's bridal shower. Julie and Leslie at Julie's parent's house for a party. Julie and Leslie on vacation in Seattle. etc.
But then, if you were to move your hand, you would see an image unlike all the rest. An image that surprises me with the amount of sentiment it has produced within me.
Julie and Leslie as mothers.
Sometimes the realization of the passing of time can take your breath away, can't it?
At one point in time, Julie and I were pretty much inseparable. She was absolutely the person I was the closest to in high school. You know that friend you tell absolutely everything to? The friend that always has the exact right thing to say? The friend who knows you better than anyone else? That was Julie for me.
There are few high school memories that I have that do not involve Julie. We met the first week of ninth grade and hit it off immediately, beginning a deep friendship that continued through college and beyond. Despite spending most of our post high school years living hundreds of miles apart, we were able to stay in touch with lots of phone calls, letters, emails, and a scattering of visits. We tried to be there for one another for all of the big things whenever possible: Julie sang a solo at our wedding. I traveled to Seattle to stay with her for a week while she was in medical school. I sat in the audience at her college graduation. Julie mailed me frequent care packages when I was pregnant with Gracie. I drove back to Decatur with a newborn to attend her baby shower. For a number of years, my friendship with Julie was easy to jump back into no matter how much time had passed.
But then, unfortunately, busy schedules and geography eventually overcame our friendship. Sadly we have only seen each other a handful of times since Gracie was born. (Did I mention that she is a mother and a doctor? And that she lives in Vancouver?) Because of this, seeing her this trip was such an unexpected treat.
Talking with Julie on Friday, I realized that somehow she is both the same person I used to know so well and a person I need to get to know all over again. She seems fundamentally the same- warm, intelligent, caring, gentle, funny- but she now has a life that I know nothing about. I haven't seen her interact with her husband. I don't know her children or know her as a mother. I've never been to her home, seen her function professionally, or met her friends. And ditto for her in regards to me.
What a vast difference to the time back in the day when an event in my life didn't seem real unless I called Julie to tell her about it.
I realize that it is normal for people to come and go out of our lives. There are friends you can love and share your life with, but then move on from....no hard feelings, only wonderful memories. Even though I know this logically, it still makes me a little sad. I felt very sentimental after Julie's visit realizing that Julie and I had now become those friends that have kind of moved on....realizing that it was really wonderful to meet her children and to wrap my arms around her for a hug, but also realizing that in all likelihood another three or four years will pass before I see her again. I hold no false assumptions that we will once again begin to talk on the phone on a regular basis or take trips to see one another.
Because I have difficulty with change, I have begun to collect quotes about change in a file on my laptop. I'll end this post with my newest collected quote:
"All changes, no matter how wanted, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France, 1888
If you were to take your hand and place it under our necks in the photograph, you would see a picture like hundreds of others I have of the two of us over the years. Julie and Leslie a canoe trip. Julie and Leslie getting ready for Homecoming. Julie and Leslie at a band concert. Julie and Leslie at a slumber party. Julie and Leslie at Leslie's bridal shower. Julie and Leslie at Julie's parent's house for a party. Julie and Leslie on vacation in Seattle. etc.
But then, if you were to move your hand, you would see an image unlike all the rest. An image that surprises me with the amount of sentiment it has produced within me.
Julie and Leslie as mothers.
Sometimes the realization of the passing of time can take your breath away, can't it?
At one point in time, Julie and I were pretty much inseparable. She was absolutely the person I was the closest to in high school. You know that friend you tell absolutely everything to? The friend that always has the exact right thing to say? The friend who knows you better than anyone else? That was Julie for me.
There are few high school memories that I have that do not involve Julie. We met the first week of ninth grade and hit it off immediately, beginning a deep friendship that continued through college and beyond. Despite spending most of our post high school years living hundreds of miles apart, we were able to stay in touch with lots of phone calls, letters, emails, and a scattering of visits. We tried to be there for one another for all of the big things whenever possible: Julie sang a solo at our wedding. I traveled to Seattle to stay with her for a week while she was in medical school. I sat in the audience at her college graduation. Julie mailed me frequent care packages when I was pregnant with Gracie. I drove back to Decatur with a newborn to attend her baby shower. For a number of years, my friendship with Julie was easy to jump back into no matter how much time had passed.
But then, unfortunately, busy schedules and geography eventually overcame our friendship. Sadly we have only seen each other a handful of times since Gracie was born. (Did I mention that she is a mother and a doctor? And that she lives in Vancouver?) Because of this, seeing her this trip was such an unexpected treat.
Talking with Julie on Friday, I realized that somehow she is both the same person I used to know so well and a person I need to get to know all over again. She seems fundamentally the same- warm, intelligent, caring, gentle, funny- but she now has a life that I know nothing about. I haven't seen her interact with her husband. I don't know her children or know her as a mother. I've never been to her home, seen her function professionally, or met her friends. And ditto for her in regards to me.
What a vast difference to the time back in the day when an event in my life didn't seem real unless I called Julie to tell her about it.
I realize that it is normal for people to come and go out of our lives. There are friends you can love and share your life with, but then move on from....no hard feelings, only wonderful memories. Even though I know this logically, it still makes me a little sad. I felt very sentimental after Julie's visit realizing that Julie and I had now become those friends that have kind of moved on....realizing that it was really wonderful to meet her children and to wrap my arms around her for a hug, but also realizing that in all likelihood another three or four years will pass before I see her again. I hold no false assumptions that we will once again begin to talk on the phone on a regular basis or take trips to see one another.
Because I have difficulty with change, I have begun to collect quotes about change in a file on my laptop. I'll end this post with my newest collected quote:
"All changes, no matter how wanted, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France, 1888
Comments
I think you should maybe think about doing some writing. If I were a girl, I would probably be in tears right now. You have a wonderful way of putting your feeling into words.
Coming from someone who won't read an email if I have to scroll down, I always enjoy your blogs.
I think this blog entry strikes a chord with many of us and puts a voice to whispers that nag at us about losing track of good friends. Maybe that is why I try to stay away from facebook. I don't have the time and energy to maintain current friendships - let alone rekindle and nurture old ones!
Your blog made me think how life changes - no matter how hard we try to keep it the same. Friends that you couldn't go a day without talking to move away and you slowly lose touch. The baby that you couldn't imagine being away from for more than an hour grows up and there comes a time when you only see him once a month.
I guess the lesson we learn is that the impermenance of life is what makes it precious.
Thanks again for a great blog and for making us remember what's important.
(That's a serious compliment coming from Chad!)
Love,
Patti
Work with Kelly - that would be a good place to start!