{no filter}
A friend invited Drew, Katie, and me over to play one morning this week. She also invited another preschool mom and her son, who I knew just a little bit from preschool events, but not very well. This is an actual interaction I had with this other guest.
(It actually, actually is. I wish I was exaggerating- it would make me feel better about this person.)
me: (we were talking about summer travel) ".... with four kids, the thought of being in the van for twelve hours makes me cringe, so we..."
her: "Wait, you have four kids?!? GOOD GOD! I thought you just had the two!"
me: (always a little unsure of a good response to comments like this) "Yes, we have two boys and two girls. Ten, eight, four, and two years old. My older two are at school right now."
her: (shaking her head) "God!! Did you start when you were twelve?!?... How old were you when you had your oldest? Were you married already?"
me: "We were married at 22 and had her at 26."
her: (still shaking her head) "Wow...... wow. Is it just so hard?"
me: "It can be. We have some crazy days. Most days I love it."
her: "Wow."
uncomfortable silence
me: "So, Nicole, what kind of tree is that? Is that a magnolia tree? It's great."
I am always completely shocked by people who have no filter. I should not be- I am Drew's mom, after all- but I am. I am also shocked by people who are surprised or disapproving of us having four kids. It honestly does not feel that out of the ordinary or like some alternative lifestyle to me.
I am blogging in the playroom as Drew waits not so patiently for his turn on the laptop while Katie naps. He is watching me and he just excitedly said, "You are typing something about me on the blog. I see my name!"
Happy Friday, all!
(It actually, actually is. I wish I was exaggerating- it would make me feel better about this person.)
me: (we were talking about summer travel) ".... with four kids, the thought of being in the van for twelve hours makes me cringe, so we..."
her: "Wait, you have four kids?!? GOOD GOD! I thought you just had the two!"
me: (always a little unsure of a good response to comments like this) "Yes, we have two boys and two girls. Ten, eight, four, and two years old. My older two are at school right now."
her: (shaking her head) "God!! Did you start when you were twelve?!?... How old were you when you had your oldest? Were you married already?"
me: "We were married at 22 and had her at 26."
her: (still shaking her head) "Wow...... wow. Is it just so hard?"
me: "It can be. We have some crazy days. Most days I love it."
her: "Wow."
uncomfortable silence
me: "So, Nicole, what kind of tree is that? Is that a magnolia tree? It's great."
I am always completely shocked by people who have no filter. I should not be- I am Drew's mom, after all- but I am. I am also shocked by people who are surprised or disapproving of us having four kids. It honestly does not feel that out of the ordinary or like some alternative lifestyle to me.
I am blogging in the playroom as Drew waits not so patiently for his turn on the laptop while Katie naps. He is watching me and he just excitedly said, "You are typing something about me on the blog. I see my name!"
Happy Friday, all!
Comments
I think Erin is "spot on" with her assessment that "wow" was a compliment rather then an insult or judgmental.
People think how their life would be having four children and realize quickly that THEY could not handle it well.
That being said... the comment questioning your age or marriage when the first child was born could not be more out of line.
You handled it gracefully.
Love Dad
"unfiltered" is what you'd expect from a four-year-old and not from a woman who I am assuming is in her 30's.
I'm increasingly amazed at what people will email, tweet, or post on FB where everyone has an opinion and is quite happy to reguritate it at a moment's notice. I guess I expect something more restrained in person. Another thing I am wrong about, obviously.
You handled it graciously. I always wish I could deliver a snappy comeback on the spot, but I'm never that quick. Only later do I think of something like "it's surprising how an attractive, educated woman can be such a classless moron". Maybe it's just as well... Uncomfortable silence speaks volumes. Sandi
Her face? Not so much. :)