bliss
After dinner tonight, Ben took bedtime-duty while I made a relaxing trip to Borders. The official excuse was that I needed to pick up my newest book club pick. Unofficially, I craved some quiet time to myself.
I grabbed a stack of magazines, ordered a hot chocolate, and found a comfy chair in the corner for an hour of bliss.
(June, Carrie, and Tara- it would have been much better, of course, had you been there and had they been able to serve me a Borders original chai. sigh.)
Distraction is most definitely working for me this week. As my official due date gets closer and closer, I frequently get overwhelmed by my thoughts. As previously posted, I have much anxiety about the logistics of going into sudden labor with a three year old and five year old in my constant care (though I have to say- the number of friends and neighbors who have made the offer to help in any way they can has been so very touching. Seven people have said- and with enough conviction that I really believe them- that we can call at 2 a.m. if needed. I am so grateful.) I get emotional when I think how much life in our family is about to change. I get sentimental thinking about Luke not being the baby of the family anymore. I worry about trying to function with patience and energy for Gracie and Luke while caring for a newborn. I worry about his kidneys and what we will find on the ultrasound after his birth. I think about holding him and smelling him and naming him and nursing him and cuddling him and feel so very ready to meet him!
We've been keeping pretty busy and it has been helping. We spent today picking out books at the library, grabbing lunch at McDonalds, reading book after book after book, baking, hosting a playdate with three friends and their children, and with me enjoying my trip to the bookstore.
Ben and I keep wondering if this will be the last weekend before the baby arrives. If so, it makes me want to savor it. Life with a newborn will be so different. Wonderful, but different.
The rest of the house is quiet and I am off to curl up in bed with my new book.
I grabbed a stack of magazines, ordered a hot chocolate, and found a comfy chair in the corner for an hour of bliss.
(June, Carrie, and Tara- it would have been much better, of course, had you been there and had they been able to serve me a Borders original chai. sigh.)
Distraction is most definitely working for me this week. As my official due date gets closer and closer, I frequently get overwhelmed by my thoughts. As previously posted, I have much anxiety about the logistics of going into sudden labor with a three year old and five year old in my constant care (though I have to say- the number of friends and neighbors who have made the offer to help in any way they can has been so very touching. Seven people have said- and with enough conviction that I really believe them- that we can call at 2 a.m. if needed. I am so grateful.) I get emotional when I think how much life in our family is about to change. I get sentimental thinking about Luke not being the baby of the family anymore. I worry about trying to function with patience and energy for Gracie and Luke while caring for a newborn. I worry about his kidneys and what we will find on the ultrasound after his birth. I think about holding him and smelling him and naming him and nursing him and cuddling him and feel so very ready to meet him!
We've been keeping pretty busy and it has been helping. We spent today picking out books at the library, grabbing lunch at McDonalds, reading book after book after book, baking, hosting a playdate with three friends and their children, and with me enjoying my trip to the bookstore.
Ben and I keep wondering if this will be the last weekend before the baby arrives. If so, it makes me want to savor it. Life with a newborn will be so different. Wonderful, but different.
The rest of the house is quiet and I am off to curl up in bed with my new book.
Comments
Love you all see you in a couple days!
I so enjoy your blog and keeping up with the kids.
I've just finished reading "My Stroke of Insight" by a Ph.d who had a stroke at 37 and worked at recovery for eight years. (A close friend of ours recently had a stroke.) The writer is a brain "professional" who objectively discussed the whole experience.
I've taken several things away from the book having nothing to do with strokes. For those of us "left brainers", logical planners who struggle to make order out of chaos and always be out ahead of every situation, change can produce great anxiety and we can get in the habit of repeating the same "loop" in our mind. Supposedly, the physiological part lasts only 90 seconds. If you can roll through that and then focus on something positive, it defeats the neuro-cycle repeating. She contends you can train your "right brain" to calm the whirling left side.
You are a very creative person, so your right brain is already very developed. You have done such a good job in parenting your children and organizing your life, your right brain is no doubt telling your left brain to take a deep breath. You have such a successful track record so far, why would you suddenly become an incompetent mess?
You have a great support system and a loving husband. You will handle this as you do everything else, having planned for everything you can think of and making good decisions about the rest of it.
Ron and I will be thinking about you and waiting to hear what you have chosen for his name.
I know you're worried, partly because you said so, but also because I remember how much you like to know what's happening. You should have no worries, however, about the love you have shown and will continue to show your children (present and future!). You have such an amazingly great heart, not just in size but in quality, and God has given you all the space you need to include the newest angel arriving to Indy:).
While you are more than welcome to call us ANYTIME (day or night), I don't know how much help we'll be able to offer physically...emotionally and spiritually, however, we are here
Love you all SOOOO much!
June, Kevin and Lanie