{Parenting is humbling.}

Parenting is pretty humbling at times, isn't it?

Just when I start to think that I just may, after eight years of practice, be getting the hang of this gig, someone puts me right back in my place. :)

Sprinkled throughout a pretty typical summer day today were some really nice moments. Like catching Drew kissing Kate's toes. Or hearing Luke say to Drew, "I'll miss you when I go back to school." Or sewing with Gracie while wearing Kate in my Moby and having Luke walk in and say, "All three girls are sewing!" Or Drew telling me that his bug bite hurt because he was so hungry. Or seeing the creative costuming of magicians Drew and Luke. Or giggling with Gracie over "Ramona's World." The list could go on.

But despite these nice moments, the moment from today I can't stop thinking about wasn't quite so pretty. Doesn't it suck that a rough half an hour can pretty much erase the other twenty-three and a half hours in your day?

Tonight we had been at Gracie's gym for an hour- not really the boys' favorite place to be and the second time this week that we'd been there. It was hot in the viewing area and more crowded than usual. Drew was exhausted and showing me all of the signs that a meltdown was approaching. (He had not napped, so by 7:00 he was ready for bed.) Kate was still not feeling well and just wasn't happy. By the time class ended, Drew was very, very unhappy with life. I felt frazzled watching the clock and waiting for Gracie's class to come to the lobby.

Of all of the nights, her class ran ten minutes over tonight, and Drew was d-o-n-e, done. Done. Done. Done.

I was trying to get us all out to the car, but Drew was flat out refusing to move. The little stinker planted his bottom under the counter and would not budge. He wanted me to carry him, but I couldn't because I had Katie in my arms. I tried everything I could think of to say, "Drew, let's go home, OK? Let's go check on Puppy and read one of your new books......Let's go home and take a bath.....Let's walk out to the van together and you can unlock the doors for me...." and so on. I tried getting stern as well, but he was just an over-tired, irrational two year old and would not be reasoned with.
When I realized I couldn't safely grab him without the risk of dropping Katie and that my words were completely ineffective, I really wasn't sure what else to do. The car was too far away to walk Katie out and then come back to get Drew. I didn't know anyone else in the lobby and Gracie's teacher was nowhere to be seen. Desperate, I started to walk out the gym door, thinking that Drew might get upset and follow me, but he just began to scream louder.

People were looking at us- the nice ones with sympathy, a couple not-so-nice ones without. Remember that humbling part of parenting I mentioned? This was completely, 100% as humbling as anything I've ever experienced. I was that mom- the mom who had no control over her situation with a completely irrational child.

One of the fathers in the lobby said, "Would you like me to help?" I gratefully nodded and he picked Drew up and started walking out of the building with me. Drew's tantrum escalated when he realized he was being carried by a stranger, so the man put him down. It was helpful that Drew was at least now with me and not under the counter where I couldn't reach him.  Drew clung to me fiercely and I had no choice but to pick him up too.

I shake my head right now imagining how we must have looked. Drew was crying, Katie was crying, I had the worst grip on Drew as I tried to carry his wiggling body across the parking lot with one hand while holding a crying newborn against me with the other hand. I was overwhelmed and fighting back a couple of tears of my own. It was a long walk to our car.

And then the fun continued both as we drove home to crying (Katie and Drew) and as I got Drew ready for bed while nursing Katie. (Can you put pajamas and a diaper on a squirmy two year old with one hand? I now know that I can. Oh, the things we discover...) I just might have been cursing Ben's job a little under my breath for having him travel so much this week.

It wasn't until I had all four kids tucked into bed that I could really reflect on the situation. It won't leave my mind, but I still don't have any profound thoughts on it- just that it sucked. But sometimes parenting does. You try to do things right, but life still gets a little hairy.

I don't share this to get any sort of sympathy, and I certainly don't share it because I'm proud of it. I share it because it is real life and it is on my mind. I am striving to be open on this blog, to document our daily life as it really exists. Our life is so far from perfect, but I still love it.

I would love it more without the tantrums, but what can you do?

So, if you feel so inclined, you'd make my night (or day) by sharing a frazzled parenting story of your own. Or, if you don't feel like sharing, just make me a promise that the next time you see a child throwing a crazy tantrum out in public, you will show a little compassion to the situation.

I'll leave you with a funnier Drew story-

We were driving to the library this morning and out of the blue, Drew said, "Hey! I'm not actually choking right now.  pause  And I will not poop in my pants, OK?"   OK, Drew. Good to know :)