{best moments of my day}

I have a confession to make- I still willingly rock Drew to sleep when he asks for it. I love to do it, in fact.  (Probably a little too much, according to some parenting books. At two, he should be putting himself to sleep each night, and he does.......about 75% of the time.)

Occasionally, though, he asked to be rocked, as he did for his nap this afternoon. I happily agree.

So a bit ago, we cuddled up in the rocking chair in his room.  As he situated himself against me and I rested my cheek against his forehead, I could feel him relax. He cuddled into me and became very still- an unusual state for him these days. For a few minutes the only sound in the room was the swish of the rocking chair and his slow, deep breaths. I breathed in the smell of him and rubbed his little back. I marveled at how quickly the time is going and realized with a tear that these tender moments with him are becoming less and less frequent. I willed time to stand still.

I don't know what the rest of my day will look like, but I know with absolute certainty that nothing will top those five little sweet moments I shared with my baby boy.

The kids getting older makes me sad sometimes in a way that I can't explain. It's not that I don't love the older stages of childhood. In fact, I really, really do. Ages six and seven have been just wonderful; I appreciate the intelligence, cooperation, imagination, enthusiasm for outside interests, humor, and independence that being older brings.  But there is just something so sweet about the baby and toddler years, and as they are quickly passing for my third baby, I am left feeling a little blue. I can't even imagine yet what I will feel like in a couple of years when I am savoring this stage for the very last time with my last baby. I have a feeling it will be a rough time for me.

I am just about to the halfway stage of this pregnancy and in just a few weeks, we will be having another ultrasound. I am so excited about finding out the gender of the new baby. I am ready to be able to say "he" or "she" and to pick a name. I know many people who enjoy the surprise, but I really like being able to address the baby by name as we wait for his/her arrival. It just makes everything so much more real.

As excited as I am for the next few weeks to pass so we can get to the ultrasound date, that is as far as I want things to progress. After the ultrasound, I don't think I am going to be in any hurry to speed up the last part of the pregnancy. Now that I am feeling so good, I just want to enjoy this last time I get to feel the anticipation of expecting a new baby.

This is such a busy and tiring stage of my life. Having three young children with a fourth on the way makes for some loud and messy times in our household. Some sleepless nights. Some busy days. Some moments where I long for a mute button, just for thirty seconds.

But it also makes for some of the most blissful and most tender moments I could ever imagine having.

Like rocking your baby to sleep on a sunny, snowy afternoon.