{thoughts on blogging}
My computer shares a space with our playroom. This is good thing because a girl can only play so many rounds of send-the-car-down-the-track-and-laugh-when-it-crashes before she goes just a wee bit crazy. When I need a break, I often hop onto my laptop and write.
Many, many times these posts are deleted. I am 100% positive that others would be bored silly with some of the posts that I decide not to share. Other times, I write just to make sense of something. These posts tend to be private and as much as I try to put myself out there, there are just some things better left private...things that I don't mind sharing with some of you, especially after a glass of wine..... but the thing about a blog is that you don't really know who is reading. I try to keep that in mind.
Writing provides me with the mental stimulation I need to get me through some days. I miss teaching. I miss interacting with adults. I miss using my mind for something more than reading books to children and measuring laundry detergent. My life as a stay-at-home mom is a blessing and there is nothing else I would rather be doing right now, but gosh, it can be a bit dull at times!
Having a blog is the perfect outlet for me at this time in my life, especially now that we have moved even farther away from the people we love most. There is just no other way that I could keep as connected to our faraway friends and family than through this blog. I am not a huge phone talker, nor do I have the time or energy to call people as often as I should.
I could email little stories, thoughts, and pictures to our extended family and friends, but sending an email seems more imposing, as if I'm expecting a response. A blog feels a little more polite somehow, as in "check in with us if you feel like it, leave a response if you are so inclined." It is so wonderful to be able to sit down and share a little bit of "us" with the people we love with ten minutes of my time. And it makes it so much easier to jump right back into things when we do see one another.
My good friend Kelly has a blog that I love reading. She updates it often with the happenings in her sweet family. It is amazing how much this helps us stay connected. Often in our emails, she'll say, "I feel like we've talked more recently than we have because I read your blog all of the time." I feel the same way. To me, that is exactly the point of the blog.
Shannon and Scott (Ben's cousin and her husband) recently switched their blog from private to public and Shannon's explanation prompted these thoughts. Shannon and I have talked before about the negative aspects of blogging- mostly the vulnerability you feel from exposing yourself and your family to others and potential criticism. It can be scary.
I used to read another blog daily. The blogger is not anyone that I know, but she had a pretty well-known blog with around 4,000 followers. She recently decided to delete her blog and quit because, in her words, too many people felt like they knew her and she was uncomfortable by it. I can relate. Not that I have a ton of followers, but I do know the discomfort of having strangers seeing your thoughts.
A few times in the past six months or so, I've had someone tell me that they like my blog- someone I had no idea had ever read it. I will honestly admit that my first reaction was always embarrassment. I immediately had the feeling I have after a night where I've had one too many glasses of wine.....the uncomfortable fear that I've said something stupid or somehow made a fool of myself. I'm sure you know the feeling.
It's unfortunate but true that blogging can cause a similar feeling, or at least it can if your natural tendency is shyness. I have always been more comfortable expressing myself though writing, so there are things I type on here from the comfort of my own home that I probably would never sit down next to someone at a party and say. (In person, I am more of a listener than a sharer.)
So on here, I just type away while the kids play, pretending that I'm just sharing my thoughts with a couple of people, without thinking about everyone who may see it....... but then if someone I don't see often says something about my blog, it feels funny. I sheepishly wonder what they know about me, especially if I don't know much about them. It's like I always picture the same five or six people reading the blog, and anyone else reading it throws me off for a split second.
I'm being intentionally vague here, but I recently was around someone I don't know very well. Ben says I met her three years ago, but I don't remember any of the details. I approached her as someone I was going to get to know, but one of the first things she said to me was, "I love your blog!" I was momentarily speechless. It was strange and uncomfortable and felt very lop-sided.
But not strange and uncomfortable enough to make me stop blogging or to change the way that I blog. I know I could make my blog less wordy and a lot less personal. I could share less about my life and focus only on the kids. I could post less frequently. But I like having this little blog- my own little corner of cyberspace to write about whatever I want to. Having this blog this way works for me.
The times I have enjoyed writing on the blog the most have been the times when I have actually shared my thoughts in a real way. The times I enjoy other blogs the most is when the blogger has shared something real as well. It's always fun to see pictures of travel and adorable children, but it's also fun to feel like I get to know someone a little better because of something they have shared. Not that every post has to be this way, and not to insult the lighter, easier posts. They both have their purpose.
Having this blog is a good thing for me. It's not perfect, and to tell you the truth, I wish I lived close enough to friends and family that I had no need for a blog. But for now, in this stage of my life, it works.
It feels great to have this connection with others. It might be narcissistic of me to admit it, but it feels great when people leave comments. It feels great when members of our family tell me they check our blog every morning and night. It feels great to have people check in on us if I've gone a couple of days without posting. It feels great to have become closer to some of the people who regularly read our blog.
So there you have it- the good, the bad, and the ugly of blogging by Leslie D. Hedenberg. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Many, many times these posts are deleted. I am 100% positive that others would be bored silly with some of the posts that I decide not to share. Other times, I write just to make sense of something. These posts tend to be private and as much as I try to put myself out there, there are just some things better left private...things that I don't mind sharing with some of you, especially after a glass of wine..... but the thing about a blog is that you don't really know who is reading. I try to keep that in mind.
Writing provides me with the mental stimulation I need to get me through some days. I miss teaching. I miss interacting with adults. I miss using my mind for something more than reading books to children and measuring laundry detergent. My life as a stay-at-home mom is a blessing and there is nothing else I would rather be doing right now, but gosh, it can be a bit dull at times!
Having a blog is the perfect outlet for me at this time in my life, especially now that we have moved even farther away from the people we love most. There is just no other way that I could keep as connected to our faraway friends and family than through this blog. I am not a huge phone talker, nor do I have the time or energy to call people as often as I should.
I could email little stories, thoughts, and pictures to our extended family and friends, but sending an email seems more imposing, as if I'm expecting a response. A blog feels a little more polite somehow, as in "check in with us if you feel like it, leave a response if you are so inclined." It is so wonderful to be able to sit down and share a little bit of "us" with the people we love with ten minutes of my time. And it makes it so much easier to jump right back into things when we do see one another.
My good friend Kelly has a blog that I love reading. She updates it often with the happenings in her sweet family. It is amazing how much this helps us stay connected. Often in our emails, she'll say, "I feel like we've talked more recently than we have because I read your blog all of the time." I feel the same way. To me, that is exactly the point of the blog.
Shannon and Scott (Ben's cousin and her husband) recently switched their blog from private to public and Shannon's explanation prompted these thoughts. Shannon and I have talked before about the negative aspects of blogging- mostly the vulnerability you feel from exposing yourself and your family to others and potential criticism. It can be scary.
I used to read another blog daily. The blogger is not anyone that I know, but she had a pretty well-known blog with around 4,000 followers. She recently decided to delete her blog and quit because, in her words, too many people felt like they knew her and she was uncomfortable by it. I can relate. Not that I have a ton of followers, but I do know the discomfort of having strangers seeing your thoughts.
A few times in the past six months or so, I've had someone tell me that they like my blog- someone I had no idea had ever read it. I will honestly admit that my first reaction was always embarrassment. I immediately had the feeling I have after a night where I've had one too many glasses of wine.....the uncomfortable fear that I've said something stupid or somehow made a fool of myself. I'm sure you know the feeling.
It's unfortunate but true that blogging can cause a similar feeling, or at least it can if your natural tendency is shyness. I have always been more comfortable expressing myself though writing, so there are things I type on here from the comfort of my own home that I probably would never sit down next to someone at a party and say. (In person, I am more of a listener than a sharer.)
So on here, I just type away while the kids play, pretending that I'm just sharing my thoughts with a couple of people, without thinking about everyone who may see it....... but then if someone I don't see often says something about my blog, it feels funny. I sheepishly wonder what they know about me, especially if I don't know much about them. It's like I always picture the same five or six people reading the blog, and anyone else reading it throws me off for a split second.
I'm being intentionally vague here, but I recently was around someone I don't know very well. Ben says I met her three years ago, but I don't remember any of the details. I approached her as someone I was going to get to know, but one of the first things she said to me was, "I love your blog!" I was momentarily speechless. It was strange and uncomfortable and felt very lop-sided.
But not strange and uncomfortable enough to make me stop blogging or to change the way that I blog. I know I could make my blog less wordy and a lot less personal. I could share less about my life and focus only on the kids. I could post less frequently. But I like having this little blog- my own little corner of cyberspace to write about whatever I want to. Having this blog this way works for me.
The times I have enjoyed writing on the blog the most have been the times when I have actually shared my thoughts in a real way. The times I enjoy other blogs the most is when the blogger has shared something real as well. It's always fun to see pictures of travel and adorable children, but it's also fun to feel like I get to know someone a little better because of something they have shared. Not that every post has to be this way, and not to insult the lighter, easier posts. They both have their purpose.
Having this blog is a good thing for me. It's not perfect, and to tell you the truth, I wish I lived close enough to friends and family that I had no need for a blog. But for now, in this stage of my life, it works.
It feels great to have this connection with others. It might be narcissistic of me to admit it, but it feels great when people leave comments. It feels great when members of our family tell me they check our blog every morning and night. It feels great to have people check in on us if I've gone a couple of days without posting. It feels great to have become closer to some of the people who regularly read our blog.
So there you have it- the good, the bad, and the ugly of blogging by Leslie D. Hedenberg. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Comments
I brag about it at work and a couple of my friends here love to read it - so I probably unwittingly contribute to your discomfort. I'm proud to have you as my daughter-in-law and I appreciate what a good wife and mother you are - and the blog conveys all that and more. So keep it up, we all love it. I agree with Bryan - the next step is a book! You and Anna Quindlen have the same birthday - I think it's a sign!
Your husband is a dork, but you know that! Love you,
I also like the interactive nature of blogs but don't like the one-sided nature that it can take on. We put so much out there -- and people often demand it (especially where the kids are concerned) and yet they give nothing back. That part bothers me. Their version of "keeping in touch" is reading our blog -- but that doesn't help us keep in touch with others... And of course then there are the assumptions that one can KNOW a person from these small glimpses. As we've talked about it's such a double edged sword -- but here we are, continuing to do it so it must be something worthwhile :). That was kind of a rambling vent.... sorry. I'm not always very coherent at night!
Oh, by the way, my mother-in-law is one of those people that reads your blog. If you ever meet her, she will indeed talk as if she has known you her whole life :). She does always comment what a wonderful mother you are :). Appropriate? Not so sure. True? Absolutely! Hope we get to see you all in a few weeks! Thanks again for writing what I couldn't!
I too am one who reads your blog often. On one level it is, of course, to keep up on what you and Ben and the kids are doing, but that is not the only reason. Though our lives seem very different, your insightful comments continually remind me of how much we really are all alike. Isolation, change, questioning of the direction we're heading, and delight in small joys are common to us all. OK, the fact that I write better than I talk, don't meet people that easily, and love my husband help too.
As Shannon says, thanks for writing down what many of us are thinking but are too timid to reveal. Sandi
Opening up and sharing inner thoughts isn't easy for a lot of people. The fact that you can do it, is just another sign of your inner strength. Good / Great writers are those who can say what other people can't or won't.
I have never known you to write anything demeaning or judgemental of others. You only share your thoughts and you never try to impose those thoughts or beliefs onto others. You simply share them.
The blog helps to provide you a lifeline to the adult world and everybody enjoys reading it. Keep it up.
If you are concerned that you may be sharing too much, just follow the subliminal advice written in your own post...if you drink wine, don't blog. Just hand over your keyboard to someone else:)
With Love
Dad
Last month I was bugging my brother about starting a blog. His response was that he didn't have anything to share. I disagreed completely and was actually shocked that he thought so. Since my brother's life is just about the opposite of mine, I would be fascinated to read about his travels and his work life on a more regular basis. Bryan Hedenberg told me he was toying with the idea of starting a blog and I think he would be great too.
As far as my writing about things others are timid to write about, I guess that is where my discomfort comes in. But I decided a while ago that I was tired of worrying so much about what others thought of me. It must be part of getting older and growing into myself, but now I just kind of have more of the attitude of "This is me. Take it or leave it." I have enough amazing and wonderful people in my life that love me for who I am that I am just no longer as worried about everyone else.
Still worried, but not as worried. :)
I guess my hope is that anyone reading the blog is reading it with good intentions. It is scary to think of someone reading about us and then saying negative things about us, as Shannon and Scott experienced.
Shannon is right- no one should think they know all about me from these little glimpses of our life that I post. It's just me sharing a thought or funny story or daily happening from our lives. I try to post often enough to paint a vivid picture of who we are because that is really the purpose of the blog.
I said before- and still completely feel- that this blog is really written for Mark, Pam, Patti, Paul, Bridget, Bryan, Erin, Chad, and Brian. If anyone else gets enjoyment from it, that's wonderful, but the sole purpose in beginning it in the first place was to try to make sure that these very important people stay connected to the five of us, no matter how far away we live, especially that they know what is going on with Gracie, Luke, and Drew. I feel tremendous guilt that our kids don't see their extended family more regularly than they do; I guess this blog makes me feel a little less guilty.
I'm rambling, I'm sure. I have stopped responding so many times to read a book to Drew and check on lunch that I keep losing my train of thought. :)
And Dad, good point- no wine while blogging. :)
I enjoy your blog! I understand living in a new place and being away from the people you love and around everything you are familiar with. Writing helps me too.
Your blog is a tribute to the family you and Ben have made!
Love,
Sally