{thoughts on expecting a fourth child}

I just spent Drew's nap time trying on maternity clothes. Depressing. (How in the world am I already to the maternity-clothes stage of this pregnancy?? All I can say is that by the fourth time you are pregnant, you must begin to show very early. ) When I was expecting Gracie and Luke, I could not wait to wear maternity clothes.  By Drew, the novelty had worn off.  By now, I can honestly say that the thought of wearing maternity clothes for the next seven months could bring tears to my eyes if I thought about it too long.

I am going to try very hard to keep this blog from turning all- pregnancy, all- of- the- time. Or even into all-pregnancy some-of-the-time. I kind of feel like pregnancy is one of those topics that unless you are also going through it, is just boring to hear about...... like when someone wants to describe the dream they just had or the traffic they've just been in. You want to be interested, but you just aren't.

The thing is, though, pregnancy is a pretty consuming state to be in. When a person goes through what feels like basically a six week really shitty hangover, she finds it hard to not talk about it. When a person begins to outgrow each and every pair of pants in her closet, she wants to cry about it to sympathetic ears. When a person dyes her hair back to her natural color in order to stop coloring it with chemicals every six weeks for the next seven months and she really despises it, she wants to moan about it a little. Misery loves company, I guess.

When a woman is pregnant for the first time- and maybe even the second- she is allowed to do this. I don't think anyone finds it annoying when a first time mom-to-be goes on and on about her pregnancy. She can update her facebook status with pregnancy tidbits to her heart's content. She can post picture of her growing belly.  She can devote entire blogs to preparing for the baby.

But by the time a woman is pregnant for the third time, people are kind of done and over it. By the fourth, well..... I feel like the general public, myself included, is thinking, "You knew what you were getting into by this time around, suck it up and get over it."

The lack of excitement is apparent even when complete strangers ask me about my pregnancy. The nurses at my OB's office, people at the store, anyone who sees me without the kids, really- they all basically have the same reaction to me-

Stranger: (in a cooing, sweet voice) Awww.....is this your first?
Me: No, actually this is my fourth.
Stranger: (in a shocked voice, as if I have just confessed that I don't believe in tooth-brushing) Four????  Wow!

(I am so tired of this reaction that I actually lied to a stranger at the hair salon last weekend and replied yes. I am not proud of this.)

Although we would still fit right in in Zionsville where large families are common, having four children is not the norm in Knoxville or in Decatur. The news certainly seems to surprise people. More often than not, the response to our news from family and friends was not "Congratulations, that is so wonderful for your family!", but, "Oh my gosh, four?!? You are going to be so busy!" or "Was this planned?" You would think that we are just one step behind becoming the Duggars. I have gotten so defensive that I find myself commonly specifying that this is "our fourth and last baby."

I am having a hard time with the tone of this post. It sounds pretty bitter, though I don't mean it to. I just wanted to share my thoughts on something that has been on my mind lately.

And on a completely unrelated note, my belly laugh for the day came from Drew while I was typing this.  About ten minutes ago, completely out of the blue, he stopped playing with his trains to walk over to me and say, "Mama no penis. Lukey penis. Gracie no penis. Daddy penis.  Drew penis." Once I agreed with him, he walked right back over to his train set and began playing once again. I guess he just thought I needed a quick anatomy lesson. Funny boy.