It's been a while since I've just sat down to write. Not a while in the grand scheme of things- it's really been "a while" since I've been on an airplane or jogged- but "a while" in terms of what is the norm for me. Writing is so good for me. Some of the parts of me- the worrier, the overanalyzer, the introvert- NEED writing as a way to work through things. Whether I write to share or write privately, I've been writing on a daily basis for my entire life.
But not lately. Life has been busy lately and writing hasn't been a priority of mine for about two months now.
busy. I don't like that word. I don't like that it is the word that sometimes comes out automatically when friends inquire about how things are going for our family these days. I don't want to be one of those people who wear "busy" as a badge of honor. There are many ways I would love to be described in life, but "busy" is not one of them.
I could continue this train of thought with all of the ways/reasons that life is full of obligations right now but not full of down time, but that would interest no one. The very condensed explanation is
life with four kids and all of their activities
and a preschool teaching job that is so fun but requires more of my time than I was anticipating
and a small business that is doing well
and a family to feed (shopping for, cooking for, cleaning up after... it feels neverending sometimes)
and volunteer stuff at our elementary school and at church
and a house that just will not. stay. clean.
And laundry... always the laundry. I hate the laundry.
There just doesn't seem to be enough free time lately. I'm not reading or writing or making things (except for work) or watching TV or just hanging out with my family nearly as much as I would like.
Tonight Ben has the big kids at a Cardinals game. Our sweet across the street neighbor walked over at 4:00 today and said she had tickets that she couldn't use and wondered if we'd like them. Ben just happened to be working from home today and Gracie and Luke just happened to have a night free of soccer practice. Drew couldn't go along because of soccer practice and school-night bedtime (We'll be up late tomorrow night for other fun plans, and two late nights in a row for Drew are not good for him. Kid needs his sleep.), so it was, unexpectedly, just me and the littles this evening. It was a bye week for me in soccer carpool, so short of getting Drew ready to get picked up by his ride, I had nothing planned for tonight. I was suddenly off the hook for dinner since Ben, Gracie, and Luke were going to eat at the game and the littles and I are always happy with egg and cheese on bagel sandwiches for dinner. I had nothing that needed done before tomorrow for preschool. I had no pressing orders for the shop. Because I spent the afternoon cleaning, there was no housework calling my name. I found myself with free time and it was such an odd feeling.
It was glorious. Simply wonderful.
I read some library books to Kate. I went through our coat closet leisurely pulling out things that won't fit someone this fall/winter. I got started on some curtains I ordered the fabric for five weeks ago. I emailed a friend just for fun. I read a couple of chapters of a book while Katie took a long bath. I made a hot cocoa and sipped it while putting the littles to bed.
And now I am sitting here on a comfy couch, in my pajamas at 8:30, cute puppy sleeping at me feet, writing. And it feels good. And I am reminded that life is good all of the time, but life is really good when I slow down to appreciate it a little more.
But not lately. Life has been busy lately and writing hasn't been a priority of mine for about two months now.
busy. I don't like that word. I don't like that it is the word that sometimes comes out automatically when friends inquire about how things are going for our family these days. I don't want to be one of those people who wear "busy" as a badge of honor. There are many ways I would love to be described in life, but "busy" is not one of them.
I could continue this train of thought with all of the ways/reasons that life is full of obligations right now but not full of down time, but that would interest no one. The very condensed explanation is
life with four kids and all of their activities
and a preschool teaching job that is so fun but requires more of my time than I was anticipating
and a small business that is doing well
and a family to feed (shopping for, cooking for, cleaning up after... it feels neverending sometimes)
and volunteer stuff at our elementary school and at church
and a house that just will not. stay. clean.
And laundry... always the laundry. I hate the laundry.
There just doesn't seem to be enough free time lately. I'm not reading or writing or making things (except for work) or watching TV or just hanging out with my family nearly as much as I would like.
Tonight Ben has the big kids at a Cardinals game. Our sweet across the street neighbor walked over at 4:00 today and said she had tickets that she couldn't use and wondered if we'd like them. Ben just happened to be working from home today and Gracie and Luke just happened to have a night free of soccer practice. Drew couldn't go along because of soccer practice and school-night bedtime (We'll be up late tomorrow night for other fun plans, and two late nights in a row for Drew are not good for him. Kid needs his sleep.), so it was, unexpectedly, just me and the littles this evening. It was a bye week for me in soccer carpool, so short of getting Drew ready to get picked up by his ride, I had nothing planned for tonight. I was suddenly off the hook for dinner since Ben, Gracie, and Luke were going to eat at the game and the littles and I are always happy with egg and cheese on bagel sandwiches for dinner. I had nothing that needed done before tomorrow for preschool. I had no pressing orders for the shop. Because I spent the afternoon cleaning, there was no housework calling my name. I found myself with free time and it was such an odd feeling.
It was glorious. Simply wonderful.
I read some library books to Kate. I went through our coat closet leisurely pulling out things that won't fit someone this fall/winter. I got started on some curtains I ordered the fabric for five weeks ago. I emailed a friend just for fun. I read a couple of chapters of a book while Katie took a long bath. I made a hot cocoa and sipped it while putting the littles to bed.
And now I am sitting here on a comfy couch, in my pajamas at 8:30, cute puppy sleeping at me feet, writing. And it feels good. And I am reminded that life is good all of the time, but life is really good when I slow down to appreciate it a little more.
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