Today at school the inevitable happened in Luke's classroom.
He had a stick pulled.
This is the old-school equivalent of getting your name written on the board. Luke's teacher has a behavior system using sticks and buckets. If a child breaks a classroom rule, he or she has to pull one of the sticks out of the bucket. It is not actually supposed to be the end of the world if a stick has to be pulled- more like a warning. To Luke, though, it is a big, big deal. I hear each day about kids who have had to pull a stick and why. I have tried to downplay his obsession a bit, knowing that eventually he would have to pull a stick of his own and fearing that it would really upset him when it did happen. Unfortunately, today was that day and my fear was justified.
I pulled up to get Luke at pick up and he was standing off to the side with his teacher. She opened the door and said, almost apologetically, that he had gotten quite upset when he lost a stick 30 minutes prior and had yet to stop crying. She quickly told me the story- Luke was chosen by another student to sit at the special lunch table. (There are 22 students in his class and 20 seats at their table. The teacher's solution- each day the Star Student of the day gets to pick a friend to sit at the "special" table nearby.)
When they got to the lunchroom today, Luke didn't want to sit with the kid who had chosen him. This child is not really anyone that Luke plays with and Luke wanted to sit with the rest of the class. Luke gets to buy a school lunch on pizza day and today was pizza day. I think he buys lunch a little because he likes the pizza and more so because he enjoys going through the cafeteria line with his friends and getting to sit next to them. Because you have to sit at the first available spot at the table and most of his friends buy lunch, pizza day is usually the day he is assured that he will get to sit next to his friends.
He asked the lunchroom supervisor if he could sit with his class instead and was told that he could. Sadly, this meant that the Star Student sat alone all through lunch today. When Ms. Amy found out, she was upset because Luke had disobeyed and had hurt the other child's feelings. She talked to him about how it made the other student feel to eat alone and then asked him to pull a stick from his bucket. Luke was devastated.
Luke and I had a discussion about the situation and I know that he feels just awful. Although I really don't like what he did, I feel sorry for him. He feels so bad about hurting someone's feelings, for getting his stick pulled, and for upsetting Ms. Amy. He also feels a little embarrassed for crying in the classroom. He said he tried to not cry, but he thought that Ms. Amy and I would both be unhappy with him.
Since getting home from school ninety minutes ago, he has chosen to be in his room. I wish he wasn't being quite so hard on himself. On the other hand, I picture the other child getting into his mom's car at pick-up time this afternoon and tearfully telling her that he had to sit alone at lunch because the friend he chosen to sit with him wouldn't sit with him, and I am kind of glad he is taking this seriously. Raising kind children who care about others is a priority for me, and Luke fell short today. I hope he learned a lesson from the situation.
Life is tough sometimes, even when you are six.
He had a stick pulled.
This is the old-school equivalent of getting your name written on the board. Luke's teacher has a behavior system using sticks and buckets. If a child breaks a classroom rule, he or she has to pull one of the sticks out of the bucket. It is not actually supposed to be the end of the world if a stick has to be pulled- more like a warning. To Luke, though, it is a big, big deal. I hear each day about kids who have had to pull a stick and why. I have tried to downplay his obsession a bit, knowing that eventually he would have to pull a stick of his own and fearing that it would really upset him when it did happen. Unfortunately, today was that day and my fear was justified.
I pulled up to get Luke at pick up and he was standing off to the side with his teacher. She opened the door and said, almost apologetically, that he had gotten quite upset when he lost a stick 30 minutes prior and had yet to stop crying. She quickly told me the story- Luke was chosen by another student to sit at the special lunch table. (There are 22 students in his class and 20 seats at their table. The teacher's solution- each day the Star Student of the day gets to pick a friend to sit at the "special" table nearby.)
When they got to the lunchroom today, Luke didn't want to sit with the kid who had chosen him. This child is not really anyone that Luke plays with and Luke wanted to sit with the rest of the class. Luke gets to buy a school lunch on pizza day and today was pizza day. I think he buys lunch a little because he likes the pizza and more so because he enjoys going through the cafeteria line with his friends and getting to sit next to them. Because you have to sit at the first available spot at the table and most of his friends buy lunch, pizza day is usually the day he is assured that he will get to sit next to his friends.
He asked the lunchroom supervisor if he could sit with his class instead and was told that he could. Sadly, this meant that the Star Student sat alone all through lunch today. When Ms. Amy found out, she was upset because Luke had disobeyed and had hurt the other child's feelings. She talked to him about how it made the other student feel to eat alone and then asked him to pull a stick from his bucket. Luke was devastated.
Luke and I had a discussion about the situation and I know that he feels just awful. Although I really don't like what he did, I feel sorry for him. He feels so bad about hurting someone's feelings, for getting his stick pulled, and for upsetting Ms. Amy. He also feels a little embarrassed for crying in the classroom. He said he tried to not cry, but he thought that Ms. Amy and I would both be unhappy with him.
Since getting home from school ninety minutes ago, he has chosen to be in his room. I wish he wasn't being quite so hard on himself. On the other hand, I picture the other child getting into his mom's car at pick-up time this afternoon and tearfully telling her that he had to sit alone at lunch because the friend he chosen to sit with him wouldn't sit with him, and I am kind of glad he is taking this seriously. Raising kind children who care about others is a priority for me, and Luke fell short today. I hope he learned a lesson from the situation.
Life is tough sometimes, even when you are six.
Comments
you almost wish the good kids get in trouble and
they toughen up a little. I feel for Luke. Joanie