life sometimes

Life in the Hedenberg household has been full lately. I am trying to train myself to say "full" instead of "busy" in the hopes that I can have a more positive outlook about it. It's not working yet, but I'll keep trying. 

Ben has been away much more than he has been home lately, so most days it is just me and the kids. This is kind of our normal, so it is mostly fine. We miss him, of course, but we've gotten used to the way things are. Most days things are fine. Mornings are crazy and evenings are full, but we're mostly making it. 

We're getting by and somehow through the miracle of carpool and a highly organized calendar, we are getting to where we need to be when we need to be there. There have been some hairy nights with too many meetings and practices to be physically able to make them all. There have been some nights staying up entirely, insanely too late trying to get it all done after putting the kids to bed. 

But for the most part, we are definitely surviving this full season of life. Most days. 

But then you have those moments....

Those moments when despite giving 110% of yourself, things still aren't right. 

When you dig deep for patience over and over and over and over again to deal with an overtired kindergartener and rather than thanking you, she looks right at you and says "I was having a great day when I was at school and then I got home and now it's all bad." 

When you spend your "free" morning of the week cleaning the house for four hours straight, but by three days later it is a mess again. 

When you run to the store in an evening when you don't have time to run to the store to buy a gallon of milk for breakfast and the. entire. gallon. of milk falls out of the back of the car and bursts down the driveway and you want to scream because now you STILL don't have milk for breakfast. 

When you set an alarm for early o'clock to get a gazillion things done before leaving for work and you somehow get it all done AND get all of the kids to school on time, but then hit a NINE MINUTE train coming home from your last drop off so you yourself arrive to work as your students are and you look like a slacker who overslept when in reality you've been the exact opposite of a slacker for the past three hours.

It's life, yes, and it's all good, but sometimes I have to remind myself that it's all good.