{crying toddlers make life harder}
So it seems as if Drew might not be enjoying these new plans I am making for us.
In the past two weeks, he has made sure I knew he was not happy to be left in the church nursery or the playroom at the gym. He has refused to leave my side at the MOPS group we visited yesterday and the Story Time we attended today.
(I'm thinking he is really not going to like the Mother's Day Out Program we are visiting tomorrow and potentially starting next week.)
It pretty much makes me want to grab him and bolt when I see him scared and reaching for me. To cancel our plans and head home for graham crackers and his favorite books. To smother him with kisses to make the tears go away...and to ease my own guilt.
He was in the playroom at the gym for all of ten minutes today while I got a tour. I handed him to the nice nursery worker and started to walk away. Instant tears. I walked back over and stood and talked with them for a bit, hoping to make Drew (and me) more comfortable. He had a death grip on my arm the entire time. Finally, since I wanted to test out the playroom as part of the gym tour (because if Drew won't play in there while I work out, there is no point in signing up for a membership), I kissed him, gave him his puppy, and handed him back to the nursery worker.
He was on my mind throughout the tour. When I walked back in ten minutes later, he was no longer crying, but he was still in her arms and his little face was all red and splotchy. He was doing the hiccup breathing that little guys get after a really hard cry. I had to wonder if working out is worth doing that to him.
I continue to struggle with the balance between having my own life at times and doing what is best for the kids. I get more out of church if Drew plays in the nursery, but I don't want to put him in there if he cries for thirty minutes- as he did our last visit. I would love to work out, but not if it means making Drew miserable. I would love to volunteer at the elementary school one morning a week, but not if that morning becomes the worst part of Drew's week. It is really hard to justify meeting my needs if theirs are not being met first.
And so I continue to ease us into new situations. sigh.
In the past two weeks, he has made sure I knew he was not happy to be left in the church nursery or the playroom at the gym. He has refused to leave my side at the MOPS group we visited yesterday and the Story Time we attended today.
(I'm thinking he is really not going to like the Mother's Day Out Program we are visiting tomorrow and potentially starting next week.)
It pretty much makes me want to grab him and bolt when I see him scared and reaching for me. To cancel our plans and head home for graham crackers and his favorite books. To smother him with kisses to make the tears go away...and to ease my own guilt.
He was in the playroom at the gym for all of ten minutes today while I got a tour. I handed him to the nice nursery worker and started to walk away. Instant tears. I walked back over and stood and talked with them for a bit, hoping to make Drew (and me) more comfortable. He had a death grip on my arm the entire time. Finally, since I wanted to test out the playroom as part of the gym tour (because if Drew won't play in there while I work out, there is no point in signing up for a membership), I kissed him, gave him his puppy, and handed him back to the nursery worker.
He was on my mind throughout the tour. When I walked back in ten minutes later, he was no longer crying, but he was still in her arms and his little face was all red and splotchy. He was doing the hiccup breathing that little guys get after a really hard cry. I had to wonder if working out is worth doing that to him.
I continue to struggle with the balance between having my own life at times and doing what is best for the kids. I get more out of church if Drew plays in the nursery, but I don't want to put him in there if he cries for thirty minutes- as he did our last visit. I would love to work out, but not if it means making Drew miserable. I would love to volunteer at the elementary school one morning a week, but not if that morning becomes the worst part of Drew's week. It is really hard to justify meeting my needs if theirs are not being met first.
And so I continue to ease us into new situations. sigh.
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