Saturday afternoon observations

One of the few perks of Ben being away so often for work is that when he gets home, he always suggests I go and get a couple of hours of downtime to myself. I usually just enjoy a coffee and do little shopping or antiquing, enjoying the fact that I am alone and existing for some quiet moments without my three adorable and noisy little sidekicks.


Ben arrived home late last night after being in Texas since Monday morning. We had a really nice morning as a family running errands and then came back home for Drew's nap. As usual, Ben kindly offered to hold down the fort for a few hours if I wanted to go do something by myself. I was out the door before he finished his sentence.


I browsed through Borders and enjoyed a cinnamon latte, spent a fun hour shopping at Marshalls, went swimsuit shopping for our upcoming vacation, and had a leisurely solo trip to the grocery store. I moved at my pace and loved every moment of it, observing the people and world around me in bliss. I am fascinated by people and love to people- watch. Gracie, Luke, and Drew have a way of demanding all of my attention, though, and I go through most days with a sort of tunnel vision, locked in my own little world.

Some of my observations? At Borders I was sitting near a group of teenage girls and whether we wanted to or not, everyone in the cafe overheard their conversation. Their insulting comments about classmates, their mean-spirited gossip, and their general rudeness to the people around them made me sorry I was ever a teenage girl and fearful of the day when Gracie will be one.

Everything about their conversation was so superficial and materialistic and as I sat there I realized- with gratitude- that I am so not in that stage of my life anymore. I also wondered why young girls are so critical and insulting of one another. It's kind of sad, really, but seems to be universal. I know I've never felt worse about myself than I did when I was fourteen and fifteen. Is there any way to shield Gracie from this?

Very similarly, while swimsuit shopping my dressing room was next door to a mother and daughter who were shopping together. Overhearing their conversation made me fearful of raising a teenage girl. This poor girl had the lowest self esteem! She kept calling herself fat and insulting her body in everything she tried on. Her mom had the patience of a saint and the enthusiasm of a cheerleader, but her daughter disregarded every comment she made. I had to wonder how this girl got to be so filled with self hatred since she had such an obviously caring parent. It was sad.

Really most of my observations were of other mothers. I was continuously struck by how frazzled and unhappy most of them seemed. It is rare to see a mom shopping with children who looks like she is enjoying herself. One mom had a child sitting in the cart who clearly wanted to be up and running around the store and another child squirming next to her. Both boys were trying to demand her attention as she was trying to shop for herself among the racks of dresses. In the very short time I saw her, she seemed to be completely out of patience. I've been there and I really identified with her. I had to resist the urge to go over and offer to walk her boys a couple of laps around the store so she could find what she needed in peace. I wondered if this is why some of us with young kids don't dress as well as we used to; all of the fun has been taken out of shopping. ;)

At Kroger I was parked near a mother shopping with three kids. She asked her son to return the cart to the cart rack at the same time I was returning mine. I waited my turn as the boy positioned his cart. It wasn't more than thirty seconds tops and I was not in a hurry at all, but the mom saw me waiting for her son and immediately snapped at him in a nasty tone, "Hurry up! Put the cart away and get out of that woman's way!" He looked embarrassed and quickly moved. She turned to me with a smile and changed her tone to a really nice and friendly one, saying, "Sorry- he likes things to be just right." I was struck- why was this woman so quick to be unkind to her own child and kind to a complete stranger?

So nothing too profound in my observations, just some thoughts I wanted to record. One of my favorite authors, Anna Quindlen, has a well-known quote about life being just a series of moments. I love it because it is so true.

Happy Saturday evening. Ben and I are vegged on the couch watching a movie. Hope you are doing something fun and exciting with your weekend!