Tuesday mornings are a little bittersweet for me these days.
Tuesday mornings are the one time in my week where I am guaranteed at least a little time to myself. Gracie and Luke are at school and Drew is enrolled in his Mother's Day Out morning for the week.
Part of me looks forward to this time so much. I love the options I have almost as much as the time itself. Do I stop for a chai before my OB appointment? Do I browse through Borders after I get done volunteering at the elementary school? Do I run errands in peace? Do I head home and take a nap?
The other part of me dreads Tuesday mornings because Drew's drop off at MDO overshadows the excitement of a morning to myself. Ever since Christmas break, Drew is back to crying at drop off. Actually not crying, sobbing. His teachers have to pry him out of my arms and I walk out to the sounds of his crying, "I want my mommy!"
No hormonal mother should have to go through this on a weekly basis.
Tuesday mornings have gotten harder as he has gotten more verbal. This morning Drew said, "Let's go somewhere, OK?" I agreed (and felt horrible because I knew he would not be happy once he figured out where the somewhere was.) A couple minutes later we were putting on his shoes and he asked where we were going. I faked cheerfulness and said, "You get to go to school and play with your teachers and your friends!" His eyes teared up immediately and he cried, "I don't want to go to my school. No thank you to my school. Please no thank you!" He fussed most of the drive there and the entire walk into the building.
Each week his teachers assure me that he is fine after a bit of time and that the length of his crying has decreased each week. When I arrive to pick him up, he is always happily playing with his classmates and usually doesn't want to leave. As we drive away from school, I hear about fun times in the big playroom, art projects, the train table, books that his teacher read to him, and yummy snacks. I know he likes it there after he gets over the separation as we arrive.
Rationally I am fully aware that this time apart is good for both of us. He (eventually) has a great time with kids his age and I get to refresh for the morning, making me a better mother for all three kids. But I still feel really awful each and every Tuesday morning (and Monday evening, if I'm being honest) as I anticipate his tears. Especially the mornings like today when I don't have anywhere that I have to be and I know I am planning on spending the morning running errands- errands that he could very well run with me.
I am really, really looking forward to a time in the future when drop-offs aren't quite so upsetting for either one of us. It would be so much nicer if Tuesday mornings weren't so bittersweet.
Tuesday mornings are the one time in my week where I am guaranteed at least a little time to myself. Gracie and Luke are at school and Drew is enrolled in his Mother's Day Out morning for the week.
Part of me looks forward to this time so much. I love the options I have almost as much as the time itself. Do I stop for a chai before my OB appointment? Do I browse through Borders after I get done volunteering at the elementary school? Do I run errands in peace? Do I head home and take a nap?
The other part of me dreads Tuesday mornings because Drew's drop off at MDO overshadows the excitement of a morning to myself. Ever since Christmas break, Drew is back to crying at drop off. Actually not crying, sobbing. His teachers have to pry him out of my arms and I walk out to the sounds of his crying, "I want my mommy!"
No hormonal mother should have to go through this on a weekly basis.
Tuesday mornings have gotten harder as he has gotten more verbal. This morning Drew said, "Let's go somewhere, OK?" I agreed (and felt horrible because I knew he would not be happy once he figured out where the somewhere was.) A couple minutes later we were putting on his shoes and he asked where we were going. I faked cheerfulness and said, "You get to go to school and play with your teachers and your friends!" His eyes teared up immediately and he cried, "I don't want to go to my school. No thank you to my school. Please no thank you!" He fussed most of the drive there and the entire walk into the building.
Each week his teachers assure me that he is fine after a bit of time and that the length of his crying has decreased each week. When I arrive to pick him up, he is always happily playing with his classmates and usually doesn't want to leave. As we drive away from school, I hear about fun times in the big playroom, art projects, the train table, books that his teacher read to him, and yummy snacks. I know he likes it there after he gets over the separation as we arrive.
Rationally I am fully aware that this time apart is good for both of us. He (eventually) has a great time with kids his age and I get to refresh for the morning, making me a better mother for all three kids. But I still feel really awful each and every Tuesday morning (and Monday evening, if I'm being honest) as I anticipate his tears. Especially the mornings like today when I don't have anywhere that I have to be and I know I am planning on spending the morning running errands- errands that he could very well run with me.
I am really, really looking forward to a time in the future when drop-offs aren't quite so upsetting for either one of us. It would be so much nicer if Tuesday mornings weren't so bittersweet.
Comments
Ironically, Will reminded me last night about how much he hated going to daycare at my Mom's group...so Drew might very well remember it but it won't scar him permanently.
Hope your week improves!