mothering the most tender-hearted
Today I spoke the words, "You disobeyed. I'm disappointed." to my youngest and it resulted in 18 minutes of tears.
I can count on one hand the number of times in the past, let's say, two years that Kate has disobeyed. She has moods, she gets upset with her brothers, she occasionally whines.... but disobedience just isn't really in her.
The other day she asked to use my sewing machine by herself. I told her that we weren't there yet. She protested but I held firm and told her that she was not ready to use the machine on her own. I explained that she could hurt herself or the machine and that eight is still a little too young. I thought that was the end of it, but I guess the temptation to do something she really wanted to do was stronger than her will to obey her momma. When I wasn't looking, she must have tried to use it on her own.
Today Grace asked to use my machine, but reported it broken almost immediately. We tried to figure out what was wrong, but it just would not cooperate. I told Grace how confused I was because it was working just fine when I used it last week. She casually mentioned that maybe Kate did something to it when she was using it the other day.
I called Kate into the room and the look on her face when I asked her if she had used my machine instantly told me that she had. I reminded her that she was told she could not use the machine on her own. I simply spoke the words that she had disobeyed and that I was disappointed and she crumbled. She immediately walked away, already crying.
I gave her space to work through it on her own, but once I could hear that she wasn't calming down, I walked up to her for a hug. She crawled into my lap and hugged me tight for minutes. When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she simply said, 'I'm sorry." In the thirty minutes since, her splotchy little face and very quiet mood lets me know that she is still upset with herself.
Sweet, sensitive little girl. I have to mother her so carefully. There's such a struggle for me to help her became a little more able to deal with hard moments while also recognizing that she just feels things more deeply than most, and always has.
I can count on one hand the number of times in the past, let's say, two years that Kate has disobeyed. She has moods, she gets upset with her brothers, she occasionally whines.... but disobedience just isn't really in her.
The other day she asked to use my sewing machine by herself. I told her that we weren't there yet. She protested but I held firm and told her that she was not ready to use the machine on her own. I explained that she could hurt herself or the machine and that eight is still a little too young. I thought that was the end of it, but I guess the temptation to do something she really wanted to do was stronger than her will to obey her momma. When I wasn't looking, she must have tried to use it on her own.
Today Grace asked to use my machine, but reported it broken almost immediately. We tried to figure out what was wrong, but it just would not cooperate. I told Grace how confused I was because it was working just fine when I used it last week. She casually mentioned that maybe Kate did something to it when she was using it the other day.
I called Kate into the room and the look on her face when I asked her if she had used my machine instantly told me that she had. I reminded her that she was told she could not use the machine on her own. I simply spoke the words that she had disobeyed and that I was disappointed and she crumbled. She immediately walked away, already crying.
I gave her space to work through it on her own, but once I could hear that she wasn't calming down, I walked up to her for a hug. She crawled into my lap and hugged me tight for minutes. When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she simply said, 'I'm sorry." In the thirty minutes since, her splotchy little face and very quiet mood lets me know that she is still upset with herself.
Sweet, sensitive little girl. I have to mother her so carefully. There's such a struggle for me to help her became a little more able to deal with hard moments while also recognizing that she just feels things more deeply than most, and always has.
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